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Post by zelodide faith whitlock on Jun 22, 2009 17:08:29 GMT -6
* NEVER AGAIN W I L L I KISS YOU
NEVER AGAIN WILL I WANT T O* zelodide had just signed off from the painful instant message conversation she had with deandre. the guy was such a jerk. obviously, he was a bad influence, he knew all the right buttons to push to get her pissed off as hell. the reason she had signed on because it was late and she had nothing to do. it was almost midnight, she was wearing her pajamas, sure on a saturday night most people were out partying and having a good time. however, she wasn't a partier, she had never been. she didn't know what was so exciting about sleeping around, getting high, getting drunk, and fighting. it just wasnt her. well, the fighting could be her if anyone pushed the wrong buttons. just lie deandre had. what did the guy have against her. they dated, and they were in love once just like most of the couples around her age. so she never understood why he broke up with her, of course, her being a girl she thought he was just using her. it did make sense. she had fell for the guy, and the worst part was that not shortly after they broke up she found out that rafe was dead. then he couldn't even be there for her still? why did he treat her like this? there where only a few people that can get her this upset. one being dominic, and one being deandre. dominic wasn't the best of friends with her, not only did she confront him, but she did it because he had sent the guy she was actually falling for away. he had recruited bryce. just when she thought she'd never be able to love again she met bryce turner. she loved everything about him from the moment she saw him. his green eyes, his bright smile. he had opened her eyes t a lot of things, hah, like certain types of music. rock music wasn't all that bad. bryce was a little rocker, and she thought it was so cute how he called his car 'babe'. she couldn't be setting herself up for heartbreak again, could she? especially now that bryce was soon to be fighting a war he didn't ask to fight. she needed something to cheer her up. she was close to tears.
its not like she had feelings for deandre still. the girl was just sensitive, she was use to being treated well. that excluded being called a whore and remembering the times she felt low, and used. she felt no other emotion but sadness when deandre was involved. she hated him. whenever she heard his name she clenched her fist tightly. she closed her laptop and put it on her dresser, plugging it in to charge. she laid back on her bed, staring at the ceiling. she couldn't stop thinking about how mad she was, how much she wanted to punch deandre in the face. she turned on her light and sat up on her bed. her arms wrapped around her knees she brought her legs closer to her. she sighed, why did bryce have to be away? it was times like these she could call him and yell to him about how much she hated people and he would just laugh and she'd start laughing to. she reached over and turned on the light to the side of her bed. she lived in a pretty nice apartment/penthouse. alone, though. so things did get lonely around here every once in a while. deandre was wrong. she didnt think the world revolved around her. honestly, she could be the most generous person. she appreciated what she had. she knew not to many people were as wealthy as her, especially during times like this. she was just lucky. sometimes she didnt appreciate her fathers hard work as much as she should have but she had her reason behind that.
zelodide opened the drawer where she'd keep bryce's letters. she took one out and unfolded it, a smile already appearing on her face. she began reading it, and she felt at ease for a second. bryce's sweet words could do that to her. she her hair around her finger, giggling once in a while as she read along. she loved everything about bryce's letters. from the way he wrote, from the similes he used, and those cute smiley faces he drew. bryce was amazing. the guy was so charming. he didn't seem capable of breaking hearts, unlike some people. in the middle of reading the letter she had sat in down, a smile on her face. " i love him." she told herself. it had to be true, right? he made her happy in her darkest moments, and he wasn't even around to do it! she was in love. she giggled, taking the letter back into her hands and laying back. she held it above her eyes and read it some more. she smiled at the word 'love', love bryce. that part of his letters never got old. she had felt better now, better now to even get 3 hours of sleep is she was lucky. she was use to waking up in the middle of nights, she did have nightmares out of nowhere. sometimes when she closed her eyes she saw vivid images. it just wasnt fair, why rafael, he was such a good guy. he had so much potential.
zelodide turned off the lamp, laying the letter on the other side of the long pillow. ha. bryce had suggested it and she had got it. she had closed her eyes, and she was slowly drifting off to sleep. that's when she heard the doorbell ring. wasn't it almost twelve? who oculd be visiting her at a time like this? wait..he couldn't be could he. was bryce here to surprise her? she stood up, turning on her lamp she slipped on her slippers. she had a big smile on her face as she paced herself to the door. she turned on the hallway light, then the main rooms light. opening the door the smile on her face went away. it was fuckin deandre. ugh! he was a fuckin jerk. she had her hopes up for nothing. she looked at deandre, a frown on her face. "here to yell at me some more?" she said,"well tough luck!" she said, getting ready to shut the door. she wasn't about to be emotionally abused by deandre and his freakin sailor mouth. not at a time like this. she'd much rather deal with the nightmares.
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[/color]: 1088 TAG[/color] deandre NOTES[/color] yay, xD STATUS[/color] done bby..[/center]
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Post by deandre cole frost on Jun 22, 2009 22:48:42 GMT -6
it feels right, kill the lights, [/font] i'm not your boyfriend, babe.[/color][/font] [/center] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - [/color][/center]
deandre leaned against the wall of his small one room apartment. he wasn't even fully dressed but knew that he wasn't planning on going anywhere. but he wasn't planning on also talking to his ex girlfriend that he still cared for either. he was in his baggy jeans at the moment and that was the only thing he slept in lately knowing the weather was cold but it seemed to always to be cooking in his apartment. big ray had offered him a bigger place and some place that wasn't dirty but deandre didn't want that, he wasn't ready for the upgrade though it did show big that he could trust deandre more than most that accepted it without thinking. the house all together was clean besides the average clothing thrown about but he knew he was never actually in his apartment. he usually crashed on big's couch and ate out. he ordered food most of the time and just ate then worked out. he knew that being where he was, wasn't something to be played with. though it seemed big was getting a bit to big for his own pants. he wanted to rob people know and with selling drugs and all deandre had to be careful knowing the cops were around every corner.
he laid down on his bed before reaching for a box that he had hidden in the wall before slowly going through the picture that were in them. it was mostly of him and harley being stupid as kids though there were also some of him and zel. he loved the girl and he still did though he acted like an asshole toward her more than anything. he knew that if she knew about half the stuff he was doing she would be used as leverage against him and he just couldn't be left with her blood on his hands. he knew breaking up with her and calling her a whore was one of the hardest things he probably ever did in his life considering that he usually was one of the nicest guy in the world. but he couldn't be nice to her knowing if he was she would want to be friend so he had to change. big ray since then dropped it, though big had always had a small thing for his sister he knew she had a thing for white boys. deandre's dad didn't like white boys much either but tolerated wyatt since he was polite and alot of things. romaen was the asshole none of the family could stand knowing that deandre didn't see what she say in the boy.
heading to his dresser he grabbed a shirt before throwing it on and putting the box back into the wall before putting the piece of wood back into the place. he then grabbed his usual that he carried on him, and grabbed his big jacket before heading out the door locking it knowing that it was a mood point since most people didn't steal anymore at least not in his building specially since it was owned by big ray, and anyone foolish enough would probably be dealt with in a day or two. walking down the street deandre slid his hands into his jacket pocket pulling out his headphone and putting them into his ears listening to his own new beats before pulling up his hoodie hood. he knew that it was a bit of a wierd trend but he was warm with a hoodie, and a jacket. he didn't care what it looked like since it was easy enough for him to run away from most things though were he was and the amount of cops now days because of the war were slim to known. he had to remember where she lived knowing he practically lived there for a while with her but when it ended he left and never wanted to remember the street or anything again. he leaned again the wall off it just thinking. he knew he had basically been an asshole to specially now and he couldn't stand not her knowing.
pushing all his fears aside he pulled up his pants and headed into the building. he rang the doorbell, and wanted he knew that it may be a door slammed in his face. he just wanted to tell her the truth about everything. hearing her words he just looked at her for a few minutes before breathing out lightly and looking around. "are you done?" he pushed the door open with his hand knowing he was stronger with her and shut it as he pushed his way through the door. "i have to tell you the truth behind everything. please zel, have i'm done i'll never talk to you ever again."
t a g ,, zel n o t e s ,, nom nom s t a t u s ,, done s o n g l y r i c ,, not your boyfriend babe , 3oh!3 w o r d c o u n t ,,
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Post by zelodide faith whitlock on Jun 23, 2009 10:04:02 GMT -6
* NEVER AGAIN W I L L I KISS YOU
NEVER AGAIN WILL I WANT T O* zelodide glared at him, before trying to shut her door. what nerve did he have asking her, "are you done yet?" he could go to hell as far as she cared. then the worst part about is that, he being the stronger person pushed the door open, "hey- stop that!" she yelled at him,, crossing her arms when he made his way inside. ten he started rambling on about how he had to tell her the truth about everything, she expected the worse. he probably cheated on her for all she knew, "i dont want to hear it! so get out!" she yelled, but he continued talking. she was already pissed off, no one walked into her home, uninvited. she clenched her hand into a tight fist, her hatred growing for him at the moment, she then slapped him, hardly, because it was rude to walk into her house like that. "when i say get out..i mean it." she said with an attitude, crossing her arms. what was he gonna do about it? he was disrespecting HER property and such. she let her arms fall to the side clenching her fists lightly. she then ran one hand through her hair, she felt worse and worse and the seconds went by. she didnt mean to hit him like hat it probably hurt. aww, why did she have to be so sensitive?? she wanted to be all "thats what you get" and kick him out.
instead her green eyes grew soft on dre, or dee. "oh my God,.... i'm sorry..." she said, taking his hand and leading him into the kitchen. if she had hit him to hard she'd have to fix up some ice for him to be able to hold against his face." do you need me to get you some ice? are you okay?" she said immediately beginning to worry. sometimes she wondered why she did, she hated this guy, remember. guess it was true. zelodide had a soft spot for everyone. she sat down at her kitchen table, after turning on the light. "go ahead, sit down.." she said, a warm smile taking over her face. even though he broke her heart when it came down to it, he was the still guy she knew when she was a child. the same guy she pushed into the sandbox, and all that type of stuff. "are you thirsty? do you want something to drink? or something to eat, i can cook us up something." she said, she wasn't new to fixing up things for dre in the kitchen. he did live with her once.
zelodide could still remember their rbeak up talk, she was all "if you dont want to be with me! then you can get the hell out of here!" and grabbing his clothes out of the closet for him. it just felt horrible. he basically told her he had dumped her because she was some rich snob! she wasn't, and why would a person dump someone because they had money. their wasnt much to discuss. he used her, she knew he did, no matter what he would say, it wouldn't change the fact that he used her. he was her first love, sure she had boyfriends before him, but that was kiddish she had never fell for anyone until she met dre. so she was naive, and she thought he loved her back and she basically gave it up to him. she was nervous as hell, but he made her feel so special. sometimes she thought they'd never break up, that they would Be together forever. then there was the break up, then she was told about rafe's death, and thats when she began slowly slipping away. she was the still sweet, and kind zelodide, but she wasn't the same happy one. she was faking if anything.
thats why zelodide loved liked bryce so much. he made her forget about things like that. now that he was away, she was just trying to be strong. it may have been bad to say, but it felt so good telling dre she had moved on. she was pretty sure he did as well, but it just made her feel...great. besides, the only reason she wasn't screaming at dre was because she had already assaulted him, and she felt horrible about it. plus, he had to be bad for calling her a whore, which by the way, was ridiculous. she hadn't slept with anyone since they've been together so he was basically her first and only. he had a temper problem, and she wasn't going to put up with it. even if it meant apologies later, and cooking something up for him, hah.
zel was also mad because she was drifting off to sleep, for one, which was hard for her to do alone. then he wanted to show up at her door, with an attitude, and impatience. and because she got her hopes up. thinking it could be bryce at the door. bryce was days away, so far away. honestly, zelodide would never get over the grudge she had for dre but she would never be able to hate him completely, he was the guy she fell for, after all. only, that may not have been completely true. it seemed like he had given up on hope, and that he just completely hated everything, and everyone now. he couldn't stand to see his sister happy, well...that's what zelodide thought about him. he was no good. no matter what past they had. she store at him, waiting for his reply. what could he say? why was he here? it had to be the guilt eating him alive. he knew and she knew he had just used her. why did he even care anyways, that was over with? he couldn't take back what he said, or the things he did. she just couldn't wait to hear who the girl was, the girl he went out and cheated on her with before he broke up with her. she was in for an interesting night..well, day. being that it was ea little pass twelve in the morning.
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[/color]: 1021 TAG[/color] deandre NOTES[/color] yay, xD STATUS[/color] done bby..[/center]
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Post by deandre cole frost on Jun 24, 2009 21:24:41 GMT -6
it feels right, kill the lights, [/font] i'm not your boyfriend, babe.[/color][/font] [/center] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - [/color][/center]
he wasn't sure what he exactly was doing there knowing eventually he would want out of the gang. and well, he did specially after meeting the girl in the elevator. she was just beautiful and well she was upper class than him but he knew that zel would help him. or well hoped more of less she would because if he told her the truth maybe just maybe she would. he couldn't count on it all to much because she was a female and did have her random mood swings. he just wanted someone to know that the sweet, ans sensible deandre wasn't completely gone knowing that most people that he was corrupted to the core. he wasn't and he was half sure that he wasn't. he knew he was working there but to get this girl, he couldn't be a thug nor did he want to. she was hot, smart and just took his breath away. as he pushed his way into the house he knew what he would get, a long speech about how rud eit was or something along those lines. he didn't care much of being slapped or whatever she was gonna to do to him knowing that it was zel.
when he pushed into the door he could hear her voice saying stop that but didn't want to. eventually when he was in side he wanted her to hear him out. "zel, just fucking hear me out please it won't take anymore than two second." after he was done talking he didn't hear anything, but felt something. she raised her hand to his face, and slapped him quite hardly. he knew that it wasn't what he was used to but still a slap. he just looked at her for a minute before biting on his bottom lip and listening to the girl. laughing lightly he shook his head before he pushed past the girl, "and for a moment there i thought you actually cared about me." he continued to the door before feeling her hand on his and pulling him back. he heard what she said but didn't pay any mind to it knowing that well she wasn't sorry, because he deserved it probably. reaching the kitchen memories came back when he used to live there knowing they had some good times there dating and as kids. as kids they used to always be helping because their parents were in fact good friends. and well the parties they would throw they would assume there kids would help out, and well deandre didn't mind it because before he wanted to be a chef but reality couldn't cook at all.
he remembered there fight because it was in all honesty something hard not to forget. it was in her house and well he told her did never loved her and everything. and well she grabbed his clothes and pushed him out of the door never wanting to see his face again, though because of harley they had to act civil though he knew deep down she wanted to murder him. he knew that when they broke up it was the night he was meeting big ray to get accepted into the gang because he already had seen to much for his own good. basically the motto was live or die. that night he was hanging out on the basketball court with some of his other friends but before he could do anything big ray's gang came and shot down some of the players because they owed him money. he told deandre he was gonna be given a choice knowing that all and all deandre kept pretty much to himself and also because he looked more like a thug if he tried hard enough. so that night he decided to cut off all his relationship ties to zel before she was brought into something she couldn't handle. deandre barely could handle it alone and didn't want to bring anyone else he loved into it. "let me start at the beginning. i loved you, i did. i never cheated on you never did anything. i never wanted to hurt you. but things changed. that one night when it was raining and i went out to play basketball i didn't cut myself on the wire trying to chase someone down. i was cut by someone from a gang, and it was a warning and a chance to live. they told me to join there gang or die. i couldn't bring you into that so i left you." he looked down at the table knowing that he couldn't stare to look into her green eyes because they always had a way of catching her.
t a g ,, zel n o t e s ,, nom nom s t a t u s ,, done s o n g l y r i c ,, not your boyfriend babe , 3oh!3 w o r d c o u n t ,,
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Post by zelodide faith whitlock on Jun 25, 2009 10:58:28 GMT -6
* NEVER AGAIN W I L L I KISS YOU
NEVER AGAIN WILL I WANT T O* zel wasn't mean at all. she didn't have a mean soul. so you had to really pissed her off for her to physically do something to you and deandre did. he called her a whore, and previously said he never loved her, she felt used, stupid, hurt. heart breaks were horrible. she didn't take their break up well at all. the reason he had broke up with her was because she was some sort of rich snob? okay, half of that wasn't even true to begin with. deandre just used her, he could talk about how much he didn't and how 'effin' stupid she was, it didn't matter. in the end it came down to what it came down tom which was, he used her. she looked at him after he had said for a moment there he thought she cared, she did car and thats the problem. thats exactly why she started to apologize and treat the asshole nicely. she had a nice soul, she always has, well not so much when she was younger. she was pretty much a snobby little brat when she was younger but everyone had their own personalities when they were kids. she felt bad for hitting him, but it felt so good at the same time. but of course she had to apologize, you couldn't just hit someone...and he was harley's brother so she pretty much had to.
she looked at him as she lead him to her kitchen. what was in his mind right now. there could be a whole lot going on in there, in fact, he did just get slapped by her. including the fact that the last time he was in here she was throwing him out. hell, she wasn't going to let someone that used her and never loved her continue to live with her. when he started to talk she got herself a bottled water form the fridge and closed it, walking over to where he was, she sat down at the table. she opened up the bottle and took a small sip of it, then placed it down on the table. he loved her? yeah, the hell right! you don't call someone you love or had loved a "whore" and "useless" and mean stupid pathetic things like that.you didn't call them anything like that. you didn't do that to people you love. she raised an eyebrow in disbelief. hell, she knew he cheated. she had a strong belief he did.
zel still wanted to know who the girl he thought she cheated on him with was. he wanted to know what he left her to be with. then he started to get into more serious talk. violence? all this because of violence. she hated that, she hated gangs period. it made people like her look bad. however, a story can shape a person. black people have been so successful during these past years and her generation. however, when you grew up when people told you the bad things about being different, or being a different shade, you gave in on it. you lived like a racist would think you would. stories had affection people. zel's parents were both very successful, they never let the stereotypes get to them, and look where they we're at now. no one could tell you what you'd be like, because of your skin color. well of course people would try but it was up to you to make the best or worst of it.
this wasn't cool at all. dre, dre in some gang. gangs were serious, you couldn't just throw on a pair of sagging jeans, and wear a big hoodie, and claim your name. it was more serious than that, she was just worried about him right about now. gang violence wasn't the answer. why would someone want someone unwilling to join their gang. that person could just snitch on them, and all of that. this was horrible. "oh god.." she said, worried for a second. "wait - what?" she said, a confused look on her face. "okay, so you dumped me because you don't think i can handle you?" she said, standing up and crossing her arms. "thats not fair, dre. you don't have to do anything you don't want to. hell!" she said. she was so tired of dre's ignorance, "so let me guess, you did what they wanted you to do?" she shook her head. "don't give in! do something about it. we have people here to help you with that type of problem, dre." she said, talking about the police. they weren't bad people, if someone assaulted you because of gang violence they took that seriously. "why do they want you apart of heir gang so badly, anyways? who are these people?" she asked, she was worried about him. although she wanted to hate him, and in fact, she did sometimes, he was still her old friend.
zel sighed, looking away form him for a second. she was ashamed, she thought he was stronger than that. being forced to be in a gang was like being forced to kill, lie, shoot, steal, being forced to become this person you knew deep in your heart you weren't. the bad guy, being forced to be the bad guy. it was like being forced to tell lies, and to do thing's that you thought was horrible when you were younger. gangs didn't provide any security for you, especially when you wanted out. usually the only way you could escape that was by death itself, so the fact that he did what those guys wanted him to do, it made her ashamed. she thought he was stronger than that. but maybe she didn't completely understand, all her life she's had it good..
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[/color]:966 TAG[/color] deandre NOTES[/color] yay, xD STATUS[/color] done bby..[/center]
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